Friday, 24 July 2009

I am Sheriff of Nottingham, Hear Me Roar

This is one of those where you don't know whether to laugh or cry. No, scratch that, its laugh all the way.

In a 'somebody left the work experience kid to do the press releases while the rest of the office pops down the local of a Friday' moment NCC is reporting that The Sheriff of Nottingham is 'getting tough' on, wait for it, people feeding Canada Geese. Presumably he'll be working his way up to dangerous armed outlaws when he's done his sheriffing exams.

So what is Cllr Leon Unczur (for it is he, in fancy dress) going to be doing about these nefarious goose caterers? Well, he's going to.....PUT SIGNS UP AT THEM!!!!! RAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!

I dunno, sheriffing just ain't what it used to be eh? Back in the day he wouldn't have been putting wimpy little signs up (not unless they said something like 'Reward 50 groats, dead or alive' on them) he'd have been locking the perpetrators up in a dark and dismal dungeon, or they'd have been hung drawn and quartered without any tea.

But, thanks to the namby-pamby elf 'n' safety nanny state you can't be doing that any more so signs it is.

But he's still got some menacing words for us - (imagine a pantomime villain Keith Allen voice)

"Nottingham is my city and I will be after any one who feeds these birds and causes a nuisance for people visiting the area."

Run! Run for your lives its the Sheriff, he's got signs and he's not afraid to use them!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Saw him on the telly talking about this. He had the chain on but not the doublet and hose. No wonder people don't believe in Robin Hood any more.

One quick glimpse of him drawing a sword and chasing geese-feeding tourists up Trent Embankment would have been much more effective than all those signs.