Return To MIPIM

A while since we've heard of the 'International Property Event' held in Cannes each year. I think NCC have still been sending a couple of people down but due to it becoming increasingly unacceptable for public funds to be spent on what is essentially a party on the Riviera it's been paid for by local businesses.

Happily, all that has now changed and it is now completely acceptable to spend our Council Tax pounds* on such a jolly, as there are now no pressures on local authority spending at all (can you check this please? Ed). No doubt this new state of affairs is nudged along by the private sector deciding they are no longer willing to shell out on JoCo's sparkling wine ration. Even though they're the ones who make the most from it.

So approval has been given to pay £65k 2014. This is to be spent on 'promotional activity' in order to 'raise Nottingham's profile'. All good, solid, tangible stuff.

Just a thought, since NCC has decided that even the worst off among us will have to pay at least 20% of the full Council Tax next year, that £65k is equivalent to about 290 IS/IBJSA/IBESA claimants' band A charges.

Send us a postcard, do.

No More Powder Monkey

The Post is reporting that NCC isn't going to be attending MIPIM in 2011 because for some reason, and despite the fact that we have a nice new business friendly Tory government who are going to make things all right again*, the private sector doesn't feel able to stump up for the booze soaked jolly on the riviera important and vital source of business leads.

We already knew that NCC had decided to pull the funding for next year and according to the Post article had only contributed £20k this year, thanks to JoCo saving a bit of cash and popping down on his bike. Frankly it could hardly be said that they were winning the PR war either, everybody who attended went straight to the media and talked about nothing but the parties they went to.

I was half expecting JoCo to announce a sponsored pedalo trip down there for next year. If he got one of those four seater jobs he could hold the 'vital' business meetings while pootling round the harbour.

The 'Invest in Nottingham' pedalo, christened 'Powder Meercat', yesterday

So the business leaders will have to find somewhere else to

"... rub shoulders with city leaders and heads of major companies, have lunch with a Lord, be interviewed by national newspapers and magazines and raise the profile of my company in front of a diverse audience of potential clients from across the world..."

next year and chase up those valuable business opportunities in Derby and Coventry by, er, going to Derby and Coventry instead.

It's the end of an era...

*Or tip us screaming into a world ending double-dip recession, whichever you prefer. Under the circumstances, what do you think our local business community is expecting?

Busy Busy Busy at MIPIM

Just to demonstrate the importance of attending the MIPIM jolly conference in Cannes the 'Post' has an article by a local businessman reporting on his experiences there.

It's full of details of the vital international contacts he made there including leads from Derby, Birmingham, the North East and, erm Coventry. What exotica.

He also can't help himself telling us about hobnobbing with the likes of Boris Johnson and Lord Faulkener.

At the end he gushes -

"Where else would I rub shoulders with city leaders and heads of major companies, have lunch with a Lord, be interviewed by national newspapers and magazines and raise the profile of my company in front of a diverse audience of potential clients from across the world... on a yacht?"

Er, London?

It seems that NCC is finally coming the conclusion that MIPIM isn't that vital after all, this was the last year they are going.

On Ya Bike JoCo

M'Colleague Alanadale has got there first with a posting about this but, unfortunately, I think I may have to give him a bit of a reprimand.

You see, Alan has suggested that Jon Collins' announcement that he is going to this year's MIPIM by bike to raise money for charidee is more for the purposes of his own PR.

Oh Alan, such cynicism, I'm shocked. You wouldn't find such a thing going on here and well you know it (stop giggling at the back please).

In fact I can now exclusively reveal why JoCo has decided to take on this monumental task.

Recently, NCC held a public consultation about proposed changes to its budget. I didn't respond. Not because I'm not interested but because it was one of the most incomprehensible, jargon packed and opaque documents I've ever had the misfortune to clap eyes on. Frankly, it made my eyes water.

But I did pick out a couple of interesting tidbits. Head on over to the document and scroll down to page 21. Or, if you find it easier, use the Adobe Reader search function and look for MIPIM.

You will find, hidden in a little corner called 'minor policy', in relation to MIPIM it says -

"Removal of NCC funding"

So you see, the real reason why JoCo is getting on his bike to go to MIPIM is because if he doesn't, he has no other way of getting there. What could be a greater demonstration of the importance of MIPIM to our great leader than the fact that, with his bus fare taken off him, he gets on his bike and goes anyway.

And we all thought it was all about a holiday in the sun. Shame on us all.

MIPIM 2009 Expenses

One of the more interesting Freedom of Information requests on the 'What Do They Know?' website has finally been answered, that of the MIPIM 2009 expenses.

I make it a net cost of £90,258 (including 'tax' which is apparently reclaimable, although they neglect to mention how much that would be).

Check my arithmetic by looking here. There's quite a bit more detail including names of attendees.

MIPIM 2009

Ok, hands up all you other Nottingham Bloggers who, like me, forgot all about Powder Monkeys and NCC jollies over at MIPIM this year?

There was rather a lot on at the time, what with the budget and the associated celebrity visits, not to mention all the highly amusing 'culture' reports and the ongoing housing allocations fallout.

So here's a slightly delayed piss take.

Firstly, it does seem that NCC weren't quite so keen to trumpet the junket in these credit crunch times. Someone obviously realised that language like 'Yachtingham', apart from being an unfeasibly crap pun, would probably go down like the Titanic. How many of us would have liked to have seen the 'Powder Monkey' meet a simliar fate, taking 'Team Nottingham' with them?

Slightly bizarrely virtually all web presence of the 2008 event seems to have gone, probably to the same place as all NCC's email correspondence on the Icelandic Banks. The Report on the 'Invest in Nottingham' site doesn't so much as mention a yacht, although there is a nice picture of one as reminder. Its all very low key.

Here's a short extract from an interview with Morgan Tucker's managing director -

''I went out to MIPIM to target six key businesses and with the help of Team Nottingham I struck two important deals."

Hmm, now here's a short extract from what I wrote about last year's knees up -

"One businessman on the trip proudly boasted that 'two' new deals had 'come his way'... "

Erm, that's what we in the trade call a consistent, but not exactly relentless, work rate I feel.

Mr Tucker waffles on elsewhere on the site -

"In 2007 a relationship formed on the yacht between ourselves and South Derbyshire District Council led to the company's involvement in the design, masterplanning and imminent planning submission for a community led homes development..."

I can see how this sort of wheeler dealing could only be possible on a luxury yacht in the south of France, as opposed to a sweaty office in the south of Derbyshire. I wonder who paid for dinner?

Nottingham City Council at MIPIM

Well everybody else is writing about this so I should too. That said, most of the work has already been done by bloggers Nottingham is Crap and Bent Society so I'll make this more or less a collection of links. That way, should you find yourself landing here first you can get up to speed.

MIPIM website

Nottingham at MIPIM

NCC website page Welcome to Yachtingham*

NCC webpage 'MIPIM Success for Nottingham'

Evening Post article about the costs

Latest post on Nottingham is Crap (with links to earlier posts)

Recent Bent Society post

Now, if we give NCC the benefit of the doubt for a moment (and it will only be a moment don't worry) I will accept that funding networking opportunities for local businesses is a legitimate local authority economic development function. Except if you work in social welfare like I did your networking opportunities tend to be in places like Derby.

But its precisely because its being held in Cannes using a luxury yacht (called 'Powder Monkey' by the way, which I thought was slang for a cocaine enthusiast. Maybe this was a way to get 'flowers for the model' past accounts and there wasn't a yacht at all) that it does in fact look so much like a junket. In these circumstances I would therefore expect the 'reputation managers' to be pulling out the stops to explain to Council Tax payers why the event is so important and what spectacular gains have been made that make it all so worthwhile.

Yet instead we get a load of guff which does mention the word 'party' quite a lot with a lot of non specific prattling on about 'raising profiles'. One businessman on the trip proudly boasted that 'two' new deals had 'come his way' (i.e. presumably not finalised) but failed to explain why this couldn't have happened on an industrial estate in Guildford. All in all the gains described in the 'MIPIM success for Nottingham' article look a bit vague and intangible.

Perhaps the only way to get someone to invest in Nottingham really is to hook them up with a 'powder monkey' on the Riviera but we just can't say that out loud.

*I kid you not. I presumed the 'Yachtingham' thing was some tabloid piss take but no, NCC's PR boffins came up with it themselves. Why do the words 'goal', 'own' and 'fail' seem to be appearing before my eyes?