Saturday 24 April 2010

Nottingham Celebrates St JoCo's Day!

Yesterday was the day that Nottingham came together as one to celebrate the feast day of St Jon de Collins (or St JoCo in his native humorous tabloidese).

Nottingham Born, St JoCo is the Patron Saint of Local Government Incompetence. He also holds the Portfolio of 'Rampant Megalomania out of all Proportion to Ability' on behalf of the Institute of Saints and is the Chair of the Enforcement Committee of the Church of Perpetual Mercy, along with 107 other saintly public roles.

St JoCo arrived in the Market Square atop a brownish nag in a sheet while eating a pie

after good naturedly making his way through the packed, cheering crowds

When asked if he would be successful in his blood curdling fight to the death against the dragon, St Joco said -

"Leave it out. You think I'm gonna get me hands dirty? No, don't worry, it's all been taken care of."

Shortly afterwards, the dragon was apprehended by security

and has not been seen since.

Later, St JoCo entered the Council House to take part in the ancient and traditional 'Filling Yer Boots' ceremony. But we don't have any pictures of that because Nottingham City Council voted to hold it in private under Schedule 12A to the Local Government Act 1972, on the grounds that the public interest of holding the ceremony in public was outweighed by the fact that it would be hideously embarrassing to St JoCo and all his mates.

The budget of £855,378.23 for the St JoCo's Day celebrations is due to be approved by the resources committee next week. That is, of course, if the committee members know what's good for them and mind how they go.

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